In making it clear that he will veto the marriage equality bill now making its way through the state Legislature, Gov. Chris Christie has ensured that the debate over the morality of gay and lesbian relationships will be with us for months to come.

As representatives of faith traditions that struggled for decades with this issue, we know that attitudes about homosexuality do not change easily. Still, it pains us that so many opponents of marriage equality invoke a handful of scriptural texts — open to a variety of interpretations — to deny their fellow citizens equal treatment under civil law.

To be clear, we are well aware that there are verses in the Hebrew and Christian scriptures that some scholars and believers are convinced prohibit sexual relations between members of the same gender regardless of the context. But other equally reputable scholars and devout believers argue that these verses refer to particular sorts of exploitative relationships and do not pertain to the subject of same-gender marriage, which was unknown in Biblical times.

These contested verses are dismissed by still other scholars, who point out that the world has long disregarded many seemingly definitive scriptural prohibitions — such as the ones against divorce or taking interest on a loan. It is also true that we no longer condone actions that the Scriptures explicitly endorse, such as stoning a disobedient child.

In the face of disagreement about the meaning of holy texts, many in the Christian tradition have turned for guidance to the example of Jesus, whose movement was open to the most marginalized people in his society, and ask why we should not follow his example.

Many in the Jewish tradition reflect on the principle referred to as b’tselem elohim — the understanding articulated in the first chapter of the book of Genesis that all human beings are created in God’s image — and come to realize that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people express something of God’s nature as surely as heterosexuals do.

Scripture and theology are not the only resources we draw on in supporting marriage equality. We see same-sex couples every day driving their neighborhood car pool, volunteering in schools and youth sports leagues, supporting local businesses and gracing the houses of worship wise enough to welcome them with their talent and their energy. What possible interest can the state have in drawing a distinction between the relationships of these committed couples and those of their heterosexual friends?

Like the religious leaders who oppose marriage equality, we too form our consciences by studying scripture and the lessons that our ancient traditions have taught us. Like them, our opinions flow from our faith. Yet we arrive at different conclusions on the issue of marriage equality, and about the role that religion should play in our current debate.

Thanks to the wisdom of the First Amendment, differing theological notions about the nature of marriage will continue to flourish across our diverse religious landscape. But a state has neither the right nor the competence to promote one of those theological understandings in opposition to others — particularly when doing so deprives some citizens of the rights enjoyed by others.

The governor has said he is “not someone who changes positions with the grace of a ballerina.” Yet at the deepest level, no change is required. He has pledged to perform his duties “impartially and justly.” It is our prayer that the state’s legislators will find the wisdom to act with the same impartiality and justice.

The Rev. Mark M. Beckwith is bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Newark; Rabbi Matthew D. Gewirtz is senior rabbi of Temple B’Nai Jeshurun inMillburn; the Rev. E. Roy Riley Jr. is bishop of the New Jersey Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America.

This was originally posted in the Star-Ledger, February 14, 2012

http://blog.nj.com/njv_guest_blog/2012/02/on_gay_marriage_nj_should_not.html

We spent the evening at a restaurant called Naura, where we were fed on our last round of amazing Israeli food including, the overflow of salads, shish-kebab and baklava. Rabbi Matt and Rabbi Karen conducted a closing ceremony, genuinely thanking everyone for making our family mission to Israel meaningful, profound and everlasting.

Rabbi Matt said, “There are so many things you thought before you got here.  You wondered, what’s Israel really going to be like? What do you want to say now about the sand in your pockets that you might also want to sow into your experience back home?”

Here were some reflections from the group… “I came away with a different perspective in life. What I thought was very important before is maybe a little less so. What is really important now is my connection I have with Jewish people and my heritage. I take that with me.” -Donna

“I think that the sand that I picked up every day came from Eddie, since we had Eddie on our bus. I really looked forward to spending time with him and listening to him every day. Thank you. The biggest grain of sand was from my daughter’s Bat Mitzvah, sharing it with you the other day was fantastic. It’s been a wonderful thing, better than I could imagine.” -Josh

“I feel what’s going to change for me is the connection to the land and people of Israel. I feel like we are all Israelis now and that’s something that’s not going to change.” -Tony

“Me and my brother don’t get along that well but when he was singing the Torah…it was really special…Rabbi Matt and Eddie, you made this trip for me. Eddie, I learned so much. I mean, I know I mess with you sometimes…but I really appreciate everything.” -Harrison

“For me, the sand is a sense of belonging. Whether it’s to this group, to the temple or to our heritage to Israel. I’m leaving feeling that we are part and belonging to something — and it’s bigger than I ever thought it was.”  -Alice

We spent New Years Eve at Ben Gurion airport toasting to our new friendships, deepened family connections and strengthened relationship with the state of Israel. Even though our plane was delayed, we couldn’t imagine a more perfect way to end our journey and start the new year ahead — this time with Israel in our minds and hearts.

It’s been wonderful blogging about our action-packed and memorable trip to Israel, and documenting each special moment with you! You can always stay in touch with me at ilana.donna@gmail.com. Lehitraot!

Before we went in, Rabbi Matt pulled the group’s teens aside to gently prepare them for what they would see. He asked them take off their shoes, place them into a pile and describe to each other what they knew about the person who wore the shoes. He then asked them to describe the pile of shoes they would see inside the museum. They then began to think about the people of the Holocaust behind their garments.

Morgy and Eddie did an incredible job of passionately leading us through the museum. We learned about Germany’s history leading up to the war and the heart-wrenching stories of ghetto and concentration camp life. The museum included family belongings, video interviews, photos of those lost  and exhibits that told the Holocaust story in a way we have never experienced. The museum ends with the Hall of Names, a round atrium with photos and bios of the known Holocaust victims. Though, we all knew so much about this terrible time, we were still shocked, in disbelief and understandably emotional.

We then gathered in the Yad Vashem synagogue and participated in a short memorial service.

Rabbi Matt said, “Yesterday morning we proved that we still live. They lost and we won because we are here. We are here because we’ve become a Bar and Bat Mitvah. We are here because we celebrate Shabbat. We are here when we make missions to Israel. We are here when we pray to the land of 63 years that no one could imagine possible that we’ve come this far this fast. And we are here because we live Jewishly and freely.”

The group read meaningful passages about honoring memories of those lost and reconciling what happened. We ended the service singing “Hatikvah”, Israel’s national anthem, as well as “Oseh Shalom”, a prayer for peace in the world. Although, it was a sad morning, we left with hope and a new understanding for Israel’s existence. We were now ready to celebrate Shabbat with more presence than ever before.

As we watched the city begin to shut down, we travelled to Rosh HaAyin, a suburb between Jerusalem and Tel Aviv to spend the evening at B’vat Ayin, a progressive congregation. B’nai Jeshurun has had a special relationship with this reform temple for over five years. At the service, we learned that being a progressive Jew in this area, where many orthodox Jews live, is challenging. We were happy to give them some TBJ support.

Along with  Rabbi Ayala Miron and her congregation, we prayed and sang as one community. TBJ families were then paired up with Israeli families to have Shabbat dinners together, experiencing real Israeli hospitality and amazing home cooking. We joked that we were going on blind family dates!

Rabbi Karen, Matt Turk and I went to the home of Esther, a devoted member of the congregation. She cooked us the best beef goulash, baked chicken, lentils, rice and soup.  It was one of our best Israeli meals. We ended the night with an impromptu sing along. Matt played folk songs on his mandolin for Esther, her elder mother and sister. They were so happy and it was a special night for all.

Tomorrow is our last day in Israel before we head back to the U.S. in the evening. Though we are saying goodbye to Israel for now, we know we will be back. There’s no doubt we now feel like we have a second home here with our new friends in Israel.

The sights on the way to Masada were incredible. We passed Jericho, Jordan to our east, the Dead Sea and Judean Cliffs to our west.  There were mountains and desert all around us as the sun rose!

Most of the group climbed up to the flat mountain, which was Herod’s fortified palace at the beginning of the common era. It took us about one hour to climb and the youngest of the group were the first up. Some of us arrived later and took a cable car up the mountain — guilty as charged!

We created a makeshift synagogue on what used to be the Western Palace. Chairs were put out and a Torah scroll was set on what looked like a bimah. We watched three young adults come of age on this amazing Jewish landmark. Brandon Dinowitz, Drew Cohn and Julia Tarnow each read from the Torah and gave a d’var Torah. Then eleven others had Bar and Bat Mitzvah moments and reflected on this experience and their Jewish lives. Rabbi Matt and Rabbi Karen blessed all those celebrating with the traditional priestly blessing and we all sang “Simon Tov u Mazal Tov”. The sun was shining brightly and we could hardly believe where we were standing. We all felt so lucky to be together on this incredible site!

After our ceremony, Morgy took us around the mountain top and explained Masada’s history and how zealot Jews chose to end their own lives instead of being attacked and forced to convert by the Romans. Still she explained, “We are up here to celebrate life and a Jewish life, however you understand that. The message Israelis take away is never again will be pushed against the wall where we feel suicide is the only option.”

After we conquered Masada, our bodies were ready for some pampering. First, we visited the Ahava factory store to fill up on skincare products. Yes, maybe we can get Ahava products in N.J., but you can’t say you bought them in Israel!

Next, we then finally got our Dead Sea break. We swam, floated in the salt water, dunked in warm water baths, covered ourselves with mud and gave our skin that healthy Israeli glow.

On our way home, we got a chance to ride camels in a most unusual spot, a gas station parking lot. Yes, technically we were still riding camels in the desert, so we went with it! The kids, and some adults, laughed and squirmed as the temperamental camels took their sweet time carrying them around the lot.

After getting cleaned up, we went to a Moroccan restaurant and toasted our B’nai Mitzvah. Everyone was so proud! We celebrated with authentic North African food and authentic entertainment — a real belly dancer!

Tomorrow, we will visit Yad Vashem early in the morning.

We first headed to the city of David and were standing on what might have been his palace — the architecture a mere three thousand years old.

As we walked around the old ruins, we discovered that the area was also controversial. As excavations took place around us, the question arose: Who owns the area? The excavation was privately funded and some locals were either offered larges sums of money for their homes or sought the courts to decide their fate.

Morgy reminded us about the turmoil that both Israelis and Arabs experience when it comes to this area and said, “It is almost impossible to live in this area…it is deep, passionate, human, painful and challenging. Both sides live with uncertainty and fear.” Rabbi Matt shared, “The game of who is here first is not a great game to play.”

No matter who owned what, there was no question that the area was breathtaking and holy to all.

Hanging by a look out, Anthony Gould told me, ”The strange thing about Jerusalem is that it seems so alien and old, but at the same time you feel such a real connection and belonging to the city. The Temple Mount was built on Mount Moriah and the tradition is that, as Rabbit Matt says, “it’s the umbilical chord of the world.”  The energy is just amazing. We are standing here in the Jewish quarter and we are looking at the Western Wall and all these Orthodox Jews praying over there. Then you look onto Temple Mount, which is the third holiest site in Islam, and I see this map in front of me showing various churches that are holy to Christians. And Jesus was crucifiied just a half a mile from here. Again, you feel this incredible energy here. It’s just amazing!”

Morgan and Eddie then lead tours in the Jewish quarter showing us the Roman sidewalk known as the Cardo. The group also went into the Kotel tunnel, where we learned the architectural history of the Second Temple. At one point, we saw actual ashes and chard stones from the destruction!

Next, we braved the bustling crowd of mostly religious Jews and got up and close to the Wailing Wall. Rabbi Matt spoke to us about this precious moment and place.

“You may see this as a pile of rocks or one of the most sacred places in Judaism. Go inside yourself and explore; go to the wall and find out,” he said. 

The group separated to have our moments at the Kotel. Some stuck notes with their dreams and wishes into the cracks of the wall, others watched the religious cry and pray. What a day and experience! We are all feeling the Jersusalem love at this point of our mission.

We all had the evening off to have dinner with our families in Jersusalem. Many went to restaurants on Ben Yehuda street like one of Rabbi Karen’s favorites called Timol Shilshom.

Tomorrow, we have an early rise for the big B’nei Mitzvah on Masada!

We headed to our last stop in Tel-Aviv this morning, Kikar Rabin. On a Saturday night in 1995, Yitchak Rabin was killed in this square by a young man who wore a kipa and was religious.

Morgy explained, “Who was Yitchak Rabin? He was the dream. He grew up in Jerusalem, was a member of the Haganna, later became a general and a politician. In November, he does something unbelievable: He signs a peace agreement with the Palastenians. ‘I used to fight with a sword, now im fighting with a pen,’ he said.”

The group relived the night of his assassination by reading the last speech he made that night in front of a large peace rally. Matt then sang Shir Ha Shalom, the final song Rabin sang together with Israeli celebrities and singers in the square. What a moving moment for us all!

On our way to Jerusalem, we stopped at Bet Guvrin, an archeological site. We were ready to get dusty and dirty! We got our knees and took part in excavating ancient Israelite homes from the time of the Maccabees. We found pottery pieces, animal bones and even metal coins under the ground’s surface! They sent their finds back to a museum, which is how they fund the site.

After lunch, Rabbi Matt gathered us all in a circle to reflect on our journey so far.

Sharon Portnoi told us all, “I feel the past few days have really enabled me to reconnect me with my Jewish identity, which kinda gets lost in the day to day. I’m happy to share this with my kids, and I hope that they are experiencing the same thing. But I will also say that I especially liked the program that we did at the Rabin site. This trip is really helping create moments that we can connect to — instead of just getting on and off buses. You made us have moments that we will never forget.”

Rabbi Matt concluded, “That’s the difference between this and a trip. This is a mission. This is an opportunity for  you to not just see things. But to see a little bit less here (pointing to his head) but open up a lot more in here (pointing to his heart). I just think it’s good for our souls.”

After an hour bus ride, we arrived at the Tayelet — the promenade looking over whole city of Jerusalem. Musicians greeted us by our bus and pulled us into a drum circle. We all celebrated and cheered. We sang songs like Heivenu Shalom Alechem, clapped our hands and pounded on drums! One musician blew a shofar as we danced. What an amazing welcome!

Although we were a bit tired from our day and celebration, we had one last stop before we checked into our hotel –  Hatzolah, a volunteer emergency rescue organization. The organization saves the lives of all people no matter what religion or ethnicity by ensuring quick response times to emergencies.  We saw their dispatcher system, amubycles and then lit Chanukah candles together on a huge menorah outside. We celebrated the last night of Chanukah together  in Israel — what a treat!

Finally, we ate dinner as group at Cafe Itamar, a restaurant that gets their ingredients from a nearby Kibbutz. We took a break from Israeli cuisine to have some fresh and delicious Italian-style food.

Tomorrow, we get to explore the Old City!

First up, a visit to an elite IDF unit that trains and operates combat dogs. These fierce dogs, which are mainly Dutch, German and Belgium Shepards, help Israeli soldiers locate explosives and attack potential terrorists. As we walked through a hallway of kennels, the dogs went wild — hysterically barking and jumping. You don’t want to be caught in an alley with any of these pups!

Next up, we visited Latrun, a tank memorial. Latrun is also known as a place where Joshua from the Macabees fought a battle, and later the modern Israelis fought with the Arabs. The Israelis won Latrun in the war of Independence in 1948 by building a new road to get to it, known as the Berlin road — and it has always been a strategically important area because it leads to Jerusalem.

On a wall in the courtyard of Latrun, are the names of hundreds of Palmach fighters who lost their lives for Israel. While at Latrun, we gathered as a group and Rabbi Matt talked about the topic of service. “Tanks are all around us, which is a tribute to service. You’re going to hear one phrase this afternoon at the Palmach museum: ‘They told us that these kids who were 16, 17 or 18 who started the army here did something for the Jewish people. They handed the state to us on a silver platter.’ They took the Zionist state and put it on a silver platter and said, ‘here Jewish people, this is our service to you.’ It’s an extraordinary thing.” Then he asked us about our service in our own lives and towards our fellow neighbors. As we contemplated that question, we sang “Modeh Ani”, a daily morning blessing.

Next, we visited the moving Palmach Museum — which was unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. It brought the story of the Palmach, the pre-state military, to life for the group. We walked through rooms where the stories were told through multi-media: video, holograms, audio recordings and re-enactments. In the last room, we witnessed the fate of these Palmach members and the outcome of their sacrifices. Some were killed, some were hurt and others went on to lead in the IDF and continue to protect and build Israel. It was an extraordinary exhibit and many of us wept through it!

Marni Cohen said, “It’s beginning to sink in why we are here. I am feeling the connection to what it’s really all about…making the state of Israel. I’m realizing these soldiers have been working for all of us, because of the wars, creating this country and now fighting for peace. That’s why we are able to be here and have this experience. I’m looking forward to the rest of the journey ending at Masada on Thursday, where I will have my Bat Mitzvah moment.”

Later that night, many of us gathered with a local film producer who used clips of Hebrew movies to help us understand different elements of Israeli culture and society. Using pieces from Walk on Water, Don’t Mess with the Zohan and The Visiting Band, we learned more about the roles of men and women, the impact of the Army and the Palestinian-Israeli conflict.

Tomorrow, we finally arrive in Jerusalem. Laila Tov!

It’s rainy season here in Israel, which means due to some heavy drops, we missed seeing the caves in Rosh Hanikra. But, we did get to head all the way north for jeep rides in Nahariya! Along the way, we passed through some amazing towns like, Netanya, Herzliya and  Haifa, Israel’s third largest city. Through our windows, we saw the Israeli headquarters of Google, Yahoo, Intel, Microsoft and other popular tech companies. We also drove through Haifa’s newest tunnel under the city, saving us an hour in driving time. It was inspiring to see such technological and structural growth in the country!

Even though our jeep rides were rough and bumpy and made many of us nauseous, it was worth the view of the Israeli Lebanon border at the end. Hard to believe that during the second Lebanon war, the ground we stood on was being attacked by Hezbollah.

Next, we experienced the deep history of the crusades in the city of Akko. After meandering through the old cobble stone ruins, I spoke to Josh Tarnow about his day.

He said, “We had a very cool experience when we were up in the north part of the country. We were able to see the border with Lebanon — which was incredible to be honest with you. There was much less visible security than I expected. Listening to the history of the Galilee was great and the jeep ride was short but really neat. We are now in Akko which is fantastic, incredibly old and an unbelievable mix between the old and new. We are having a fantastic time — we really are. And I bet you the kids are having a better time bowling…Just kidding!” Josh Tarnow

It was true, the younger kids in the group, ages 12-17, went bowling in the afternoon and got to experience an evening in the life of an Israeli teenager: bowling, pizza, ice cream and a break from their parents.

It’s unbelievable that tomorrow is our last full day in Tel-Aviv and then we’re off to Jerusalem!

Our group had two options for tours: visit the old port of Tel Aviv called Jaffa (Yaffo) or go north to see a newer part of the city.

Lori Cohn who is visiting Israel for the first time spent the day in Jaffa said, “I saw the old part of Tel-Aviv and it was beautiful. I came here because I wanted to see the country for my own eyes and experience Israel.” She admitted that the country feels pretty Westernized yet safe. “But where are all the soldiers on the streets?” she laughed.

Shari Dinowitz said that she can’t believe we’re actually here. “I was so excited to come and be with my family and friends and everything that we hear about and see pictures about, now we’re experiencing,” she added.

After exploring Tel-Aviv by day, the group met at our hotel to hear David Mendelsohn, the Director of Israeli Studies at Hebrew Union College in Jerusalem speak about life in Israel both politically and socially. He spoke frankly about women’s public roles in the religious community, the dynamics between the Haredi (ultra-orthodox) and other communities as well as current details of the Palestinian Israeli conflict. After having a spent our first two days enjoying the sights, this was the first time we were reminded of some of the complexities of the country.

Arnold Rutkin was honest and outspoken about the issues raised, hoping he wouldn’t get into too much trouble since Rabbi Matt is his son-in-law. Mr. Rutkin said, “I was disappointed to learn about the number of ultra orthodox who are not paying taxes or serving in the army is growing and so is their discrimination against women. I thought it had gotten better in the last 30 years, but apparently it has gotten worse.”

On an upbeat note, we ended the day with the Havdalah ceremony to separate Shabbat from the rest of the week. We started our gathering on a promenade on theTel-Aviv beach, but after a bit of a down pour we all scurried back inside to light our Chanukah candles and sing together. Though we all got wet, we were told the country greatly needed the water, which made us all feel better.

For a final night cap, many of us gathered nearby at Mike’s pub to watch the New York Jets and Giants play football. No matter where we are,  we can’t forget our tri-state roots! The group drank beer, watched the game and bet on who would win — but of course, all proceeds went to tzedakah! Rabbi Matt was disappointed his Jets lost the game, but was happy to report that we raised $1000 which will go the Bavat Ayin Congregation’s future building. Go team B’nai Jeshurun!